Pokemon makes you gay?


Okay, so in the end, Pokemon, the addicting video game franchise and popular tv show is a cesspool for baptizing a new generation of homosexuals? Tell me something interesting for a change.  Better yet, here’s another Spud Rant!

It doesn’t take an idiot to notice that some things in Pokemon aren’t in line with what Westerners (especially parents and religious types) deem”straight”, but it takes a real moron to accept the findings of the study “Pokémon: Secret Weapon of the Homosexual Agenda” at face value.  If people were a bit more mature about how to approach such topics, and maybe have a little worldly experience of things non-Western, it wouldn’t be much cause to write about here or any other place for that matter.  Unfortunately, something like this once circulated through any kind of channel will not go away and grows virally thanks to the age we live in.

You don’t need to give parents a lesson in Japanese culture, the main inspiration to the game’s controversial content, to try and justify misunderstandings and localization/translation mistakes to make things all better — it won’t work.  The keywords of the study and practically anything else related and published on the net are right there in plain English: “Pokemon” and “Homosexual.”  Parents go, “Oh snap! I got kids! They play pokemon! God help us all!” and censorship interest groups will attack those words with all the strength and cunning of a newly evolved Raichu.  Frankly, it’s all probably just going to brew into a storm of futility and wasted brain power rather than paving the way for any definite solution.

Pokemon’s content is argued to have the power to condition players — and to many parents’ horror, their under-parented and highly influential children — towards homosexuality thanks to (honestly not that many) instances like female-male cross-dressing, same-sex groping, naming of game packs with feminine-sounding gems and other content that despite the best efforts of the localizers/translators bringing the media all the way from Japan has caused a stir in how people (parents) view the potential impact on the easily influence.

*The Study and its findings are by no means news to anyone who have played Pokemon for a decent amount of time (at least those able to connect the themes with homosexuality) as there have been many comments, blogs and utterances of Pokemon’s alleged homosexual vibes.

For the time being, the study of what pumps up Pokemon’s homosexual recruiting power has been an underground and biased piece of literature made by people with too much time as well as an over-sensitive GAYDAR. However, I think it will only be a matter of time before this hits the mainstream public (if it hasn’t already) and the Pokemon franchise itself will become a scapegoat in a newly invigorated battle to save the children from evil video games.

Pokemon game packs will get slapped with a higher ESRB rating, the anime tv series will be more heavily cut, and parents will set their PCs to block kids from accessing Pokemon-related web pages, the list can go on and on.  This will of course follow a similar pattern as other games and media that have been/are being targeted with access restrictions, and it just makes the issue that much more widespread, exposed and even more accessible to anyone interested.  And there will always be someone out there to provide a place for the curious to consume the content.  It happened with Mortal Kombat, GTA, and it might happen to Pokemon.

But whether or not the issue is brought into a larger critical light and targeted for opposition by interest groups, can you shut down a veritable cultural and entertainment like Pokemon now?  And do you think that Nintendo would bend over and revamp their revolutionary game’s content/style/presentation because of the misgivings of closed-minded Wester parents?  To both questions, I think not.

The attached article and the so-called study “Pokémon: Secret Weapon of the Homosexual Agenda” deserve to stay underground as any more exposure will only inspire a campaign of futile time and words by censors (parents) and a lot of grief for the kids suddenly being told that can’t play “just because” — parents probably wouldn’t even say why because at that point parents would become the source of sparking kids’ curiosity in a big adult-sounding word like “homosexuality”.  Meanwhile, Nintendo will get even more publicity for its game, and its brand equity will rise –they will be laughing.

A final rant is that the equally futile idea that stopping the Pokemon brand is not the answer, but stopping it at the source (Nintendo) is vital.  Screw that.  I’d like to see dozens of angry American parents get on that 10+ hour flight to Kyoto and picket and protest right outside Nintendo’s HQ.  The foreseeable affects — mind you, none making any difference — might be:

  • annoyance to the company employees having to side-step 1.5 meters left or right to avoid crashing into overweight Americans on the way to the office
  • dozens of even more morbidly obese Americans on the return flight because all they could stomach whilst in Japan was McDonalds and KFC
  • a deep bow and announcement of apology from Nintendo execs, which they do for everything from customer database leaks to life-threatening faulty brakes on autos
  • a (very unrealistic) release of more heterosexually-geared game packs (Pokemon: Coal, Pokemon: Camouflage,  Pokemon: Jock Strap and tweak the anime show, like James growing a mustache and cuts his hair.

Now that I’ve spent the better part of an hour writing this Spud Rant, I want to go back to my normal life and get me a dose of “gay” from an UNcensored episode of Pokemon anime, and draw more pictures of James in a dress.

~ by Red 5 Standing By on August 20, 2010.

One Response to “Pokemon makes you gay?”

  1. […] (Sexuality-changing games might also become a talked-about issue as well — my last post was a diatribe about Pikachu trying to turn you into Freddy Mercury and if you missed it, here’s the link) […]

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